What My Poems Mean
Poems are arranged alphabetically.

THE ACCUSER, 24
This poem speaks directly to the fact that the Devil is out there and he attacks our identity in Christ more than any other thing. I have often felt myself attacked in those areas, where the devil does exactly what he did with Adam and Eve, saying, "Did God really say that?" The blows I feel are not from myself, but rather lies from the enemy which I am not blocking with faith. It is a very real battle out there, and we need everything we have been given. If we know that the enemy has no real power if we hold on to the truth, it's less of a battle than if we think he's truly a formidable foe. This poem shows the nature of the enemy's attacks, and the third verse shows how to repel those attacks.

ADVENTURE, 22
I wrote this while reading Wild at Heart, now one of my absolute favorite books. I saw that I needed adventure, just as every man does. "Every man needs a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue." That's what this poem is all about - it contrasts what we truly need to the falsehood concerning it (the emasculating culture's ideas that adventure and danger are evil), as well as the true cry of my heart in every way, in every area.

ALERTNESS BREACH, 29
The hodge-podge style of this one is due to the fact that I did indeed paste it together from several separate parts, which I had written at separate times. They all pretty much corresponded, though, and all were a call to the church of today to wake up to spiritual warfare, to heed the warnings of the last days. Many will say, 'Lord, Lord', but will not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Take heed.

A5 MA GNOME RAPS, (5 poems)
These five poems have something in common. Something not usually seen by the naked eye. In fact, even if you knew what you were looking for, you may not be able to decipher it. "A5 MA GNOME RAPS" is spelled with a 5 for a reason. It is an anagram of "5 Anagram Poems", which is exactly what these poems are. That's as much hint as I will give you here, other than to read between the lines, but know that the "meaning" of each poem is much different than the words you see on your screen.

AT THE INTERSECTION OF 4TH AND DOWD, 56
The inspiration of this was partly from a strange movie called "Ghost World", partly by the Beatle's song "Imagine", and also stems from several parables of Jesus. It's about the "least of these", people in places that we see but choose to ignore, who still have lives even if we don't see their goals, successes, or feelings. The bus that comes is the end we'll all see - death. But like in the story, it still takes us somewhere. "Whatever you do to the least of these, you have done unto me", and conversely as well. We impact people we never mean to, for good or for bad, and great rewards can come from seemingly small things. In this story, the people the narrator (I can't honestly say myself) relates to end up knowing the Lord because one person chose to share love into their meager lives. "Do unto others" is a proactive command, and it reaps great things for the Kingdom of God.

BAD THINGS GOOD, 24
There are two questions addressed in this poem, the first verse being "why do bad things happen to good people?" Though the name I used was Julie, the girl I was thinking of was Joya Lidfors, a friend of the family growing up. Though we were never as close as it sounds, she was like family, and her death in a car accident was a big shock and very close to home. So this addresses that God has His reasons, and that He will bring it all around for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. (Romans 8:28!) The second verse is a picture of the other kind of redemption that God specializes in - that of sinners becoming saints. No one can believe the turnaround of some people that were previously despised, but now are living for Jesus. These people are fun to see saved because they become a high-profile testimony of Jesus' redemptive power. I chose the name 'Adam' because almost every Adam I've ever met has been a jerk, plus the name itself means "man", and it is truly the picture of the saving grace upon all mankind, not just some random jerk. God has the tendency to turn all bad situations into good ones, and getting bad people redeemed too!

BECAUSE YOU'RE HIS (YOU'RE MINE), 40
This is the second song I have written for Brenda since she went away. This one is not as joyful or sweet as the first. This one focuses on gratefulness to the Lord, my dependence on His grace alone to survive, and the reason we're even together. We were introduced to eachother by the Lord at His time. We began courting at His time. We got engaged at His time, and now we are separated for His amount of time. It's all Him, and if we try to make the next two years on our own, we'll run out of steam pretty fast. I wanted to make this song sound sweeter and more encouraging, as was "Goodnight, Good Morning", but the fact of the matter is that we must live and breathe and love by the grace of God only. Our love works only if He is the center of our lives and our relationship. And so my love, always remain His and you will always be mine! I love you.

BILLIARDS, 8
This is a simple, stupid poem that I kinda doodled down in my notebook while I was trying to stay awake in a paperwork class at Military Police school. I was thinking about the two meanings of "pool" and realized that the game itself had several other terms that meant two things. I just jotted them down as they came to me, which ended up in rhyme. About a year later, I found the poem in my notebook, found the picture online, and saved it. Not exactly a profound meaning, just a fun play on words.

BLIND AS DAY, 24
This poem has two sides, the first verse being the picture of light among darkness, the second verse being that of darkness among light. As the speaker lays dreaming, he is not aware of the dark room around him, monsters in his closet, etc., because he lives in a different reality - the daylight world of his dreams, where the sun shines and you can even fly. This is a picture of the world that Christians should live in - we are strangers to this dark world, and we need to remember to be in this world but not of it. We live in a different truth, one of light and supernatural powers, one that scares the dark things of this dark world back into the closet from whence they came. The second verse is a picture of what the world looks like from the eyes of a Christian living in this reality. He can see the people putting on their facades, pretending nothing's wrong, when inside them a darkness lives that they cannot get rid of, a void that cannot be filled. They hope for something more, a different reality than falsehood. The Christian should be able to see these things in people, and cater to their spiritual needs by the guiding of the Holy Spirit. Take them out of the Matrix and into Truth!

BY THE NUMBERS, 39
I don't really like this poem, but it was an experiment in the poetry form of the sestina. (To find out what a sestina is, go to /poetexpo.html) The end words I used for this poem are one, two, three, four, five, and six, which make it a very difficult poem to write anything truly sensible. The ensuing result is a poem which confuses the reader so greatly that they don't know what's really going on. As I understand it (and I'm the author), this man is originally described as a beggar and/or a businessman. I would choose business man, since he eventually returns to a house and wife. He is out making money doing what it is he does, when he sees that it is almost four o'clock. He gets in his car and starts driving home, then sees clocks that say that it's three o'clock, not four. He has to be somewhere important at six o'clock. For some reason, he gets uptight and hurries because he thinks he's behind schedule (when, logically, he'd be ahead of it), and rushes around doing errands for his important meeting - he buys flowers for his "special someone" and delivers them, three hours early. He then sits down to wait. He wasn't late at all, and no one knows why we thought so. Does anybody really know what time it is?

A CAMEL I, 28
After writing a great deal of serious poems out here [Kuwait], I decided to write a little funnier something. Naturally, being in the miserable sands of the desert is not pleasant...but it could be, if I were a camel! So, with little other explanation, this one is about being a camel!

THE CAVES, 28
I wrote this at MP school in Missouri, while I was feeling in a bit of a spiritual slump. Seems to happen a lot in an oppressive environment like the Marines. Anyway, the caves in my mind are a blending of all the caves I've ever been in, which are quite a few, but I think that the pictures are clear enough: simply a very dark, very large place, a place you could be lost in forever. When I type this out, I try to put it in three colors, the first large part being in black, the second stanza in grey or a lighter color, and the third in white or yellow, some daylight color. That's the progression of the poem. We all like sheep have gone astray, and that's pretty much what it feels like when you do - and He is always faithful to pull us out.

CHRIST GOES WITH YOU, 13
This poem was partly inspired by the Hildebrandt painting that I have included with the poem, and partly by a sermon subject that was being discussed at the time. The idea is basically the fact that the Kingdom of God is within you, and we are responsible to live the Kingdom, to be the light to the world, to be the salt of the earth. God has commissioned us to go into all the world to preach the gospel of the Kingdom and make disciples of all nations. Unfortunately, we don't always live in this identity and assignment, do we? What I took from this painting (regardless of its original meaning, as to which I have no idea) is that we drag Christ and the Kingdom along to places we shouldn't be going far more often than we bring it where it needs to be brought. Christ does not abandon us through these places, but we should walk where He leads us, not lead Him into all the trash of our old selves.

THE COLONEL’S SANDBOX, 36
This is a parallel poem, where the three verses correspond to one another on different levels. The meanings are very clear - a boy sovereign over his sandbox; the struggle for sovereignty over the earth; the ultimate sovereign of the universe. However, I like looking at it the other way too. God is sovereign over the universe, and we are made in His image. The first thing He gave for man to do is to take dominion over the earth, to subdue it. We are born rulers, and even from a young age we long to be in control of something. The second verse makes it clear that we fail in this because of our selfish nature, but the solution for that is to recognize the sovereignty of God, and that all our power and authority comes from Him, not from ourselves. In giving up our own control to God's control, He rewards us with putting us in charge of things that we wouldn't have been able to achieve on our own. And that's very humbling.

CONTEMPT BREEDS FAMILIARITY, 24
This poem was a little inside joke with a girl at work who pretended not to like me, but I would constantly catch her looking at me when I wasn't. It was actually quite a humorous situation, because I would talk to her, and she'd always be willing to talk, but she'd always pretend she thought I was a loser (unfortunately, she was the loser), and her mock disdain was a little too obviously false. However, as I mentioned once that I wrote poetry, she told me to write her a poem (not very subtle there), then she recoiled and said she was only joking. But I decided to anyway, to kind of make fun of the way she was pursuing me by pretending not to. I'm not sure how well she liked the poem in the end (she pretended to hate it, but looked a bit more confused than anything), but that's what it's about. Silly and stupid. Oh, and in case you were wondering, I didn't entertain her pursuits any more than humoring her. Just in case you were worried...

COURTING CANCER, 28
This is a very serious poem. To be quite honest, it is about the addiction of something known as "smut" (a.k.a. pornography). Not surprisingly, the word "smut" is a cancerous growth in plants that destroys them. This is exactly what pornography is to a person, and to a society. So the picture of "courting cancer" is that I have married my flesh to a cancer, instead of committing it to the Lord and my future wife. And in my flesh, I cannot let go of the addiction, and in my flesh, I tell myself that it is not that bad for me, that I actually like it, that it's okay for now. Truth is, this cancerous growth on me will destroy me if I do not cut it out of my life. This poem is about the hesitation to do so, the addiction and justification that comes whenever I try to rid myself of it, and the attitude of an addict to his addiction.

CRAZY HORSE POEMS:
I am not going to explain each of these poems separately, but I will give you an idea of where they came from. Every one of these poems is a random collaboration of words. They are not meant to have any deep meaning, as short poems often do, but rather each poem's purpose (and especially the last line) is merely to make you raise your eyebrow and say, "What???" If you don't get it, you've got it. If you think you get it, you're wrong. Oh, and number 7, Racism, is NOT about racism. It's about a box of crayons. Seriously.
Runaway, 8
Round, 5
Un-American Pie, 6
Food Fight, 9
The Ant, 6
Food Fight 2: Citrus Rivalry, 7
Racism, 6
Insanity, 6
The Menace, 7
The Dish, 8
Trapped, 8
Hard-headed Hardback, 9

CRAZY HORSE POEMS 2: COLLECTED SHORTS: (funny) (serious)
This is a bit different than Crazy Horse Poems 1, in that the purpose of these in not necessarily to make you confused or be random. I think I will explain each separately, for some of these actually do have meaning.

What is Happening to Me, 13
This idea was stolen from a band called Shades Apart, but I liked the idea of contradictions. This is a much shorter version of their idea of course, because theirs is about (what else) a girl who won't answer her phone, so he hears her voice (the answering machine) but she's not there - a contradiction that's bothering him. Anyway, this one is merely about using contradictions cleverly. Personally, I think I do it much better in some other poems. This was just a much earlier attempt at contradiction and paradox.
First Love, 8
This is a silly poem written at work at the request of a few other employees (a test to see if I could write good poetry on the spot), and it was done in this particular style because I was reading a whole lot of Shakespeare at the time for school. It doesn't have that much meaning, but I like the Shakespearean style, and the fact that I did it on the spot.
Trinity Pie, 8
This is an explanation of the Trinity that I found easiest to understand. It was originally presented to me by comedian Mike Warnke, but I think it is probably the easiest way to explain the Trinity to our finite little minds. Basically, the cherry pie could be cut into three pieces, and we could look at it and say "that's three pieces of pie", just like we can relate to God as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, but inside the pie, everything is all run together -it's all one pie inside, just like inside God He's all One God. It's hard to understand God's individual, indivisible plurality, but I think cherry pie does well. I also think that God relates to us in these three forms because each part shows a distinct separate piece of His character - the Father is not the Son or the Holy Spirit, the Son is not the Father or the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit is not Father or Son, but the Father is God, the Son is God, and the Holy Spirit is God. We couldn't take God in one piece if we had to, so I think that the Trinity helps us understand and relate to God better, even if we get tripped up on the complexity of the idea itself. I hope this helps
Kainotophobia, 4
Kainotophobia means "fear of change". This poem is a shortened version of a parable once told to me by a friend, called "Henry the Ice Cube": Henry longed to leave the freezer, for the sun looked so bright and inviting whenever the door was opened. One day, he escaped and fell to the floor and slid to a sunny spot of the kitchen. He found the sun so bright and lovely, but there was also a great deal of warmth. Now, even though it felt good, he could feel himself starting to change - soon he would be nothing of his former self! How terrifying! But he could not go back to where he was. The sun melted him into a puddle, and that puddle evaporated, and soon his little droplets were in the atmosphere, freely part of the whole earth's water cycle. Henry never would have seen the world or been free had he not left the freezer and let himself be melted in the sun. This is of course a picture of our life - we start out cold, safe in our tradition and what we have always known. But the Son wants to melt us, change us, transform us, and transport us to new heights, new freedom, a new nature. But if we stay in the freezer and never come out into His light, He can do nothing for us. We must overcome kainotophobia to get anywhere in life - and believe me, there's a great adventure waiting for us!
Cucumbers, 4
This is a silly poem written solely for the purpose of using puns. I had to get it out of my system. I dislike puns unless they're actually used to be clever. There is not that much humorous quality left in them, in my opinion. But everyone needs to get them out of their system from time to time, right?
Prayers, 8
This was written as a rebuttal to the false idea that all roads lead to heaven, that all religions are basically the same, that we all pray to the same god. On the contrary, people who believe in this kind of multiculturalism and relative truth are like the expired dandelion. Its seeds, like prayers, dissipate and scatter, each in their own religious name, but all fall the earth and return void. Only the prayer to the One True God will be heard and answered. Truth is not relative, and every road does not lead to Heaven - only the narrow one does.
The Great Cat, 8
This was written to lead you off course into thinking the great cat was indeed a great cat, and not the common housecat. We see our playful little kittens pretend they're stalking real prey, when really they're stalking an inanimate object like the ball of yarn. This is more along the lines of Crazy Horse Poems 1, in that the last line is meant to throw you for a loop.
Elegance, 6
This also was meant to throw you for a loop. I like this one even more, because it so nicely describes what sounds like a beautiful woman - and then you find that it also nicely describes the giraffe as well. People seem to really like this poem, as simple as it is - I think they like the way I describe the "woman". I just like the fact that I can fool the reader.

DISCERNMENT, 24
Although it is a complicated poem in word choice and meaning, the internal rhyming makes it very self-sufficient. The poem is ultimately about wisdom, discernment, and agape love regardless of our sinful human nature. The style of the rhyming and structure was inspired by All Star United, and I think if they got their hands on it, they could put it to music...very similar to 'La La Land', in fact...

DOUBLESPEAK: THE ILLOGICAL ETYMOLOGY, 22
As many of you know, one of my biggest hobbies is etymology - the study of the origins of words. This is the biggest reason I was so fascinated by George Orwell's 1984. It truly captivated me when I was studying "newspeak", a type of anti-language meant to obscure meaning rather than make it. Doublespeak is the term for the words that have completely reversed in meaning, such as the story's "Ministry of Peace" (war dept.), Ministry of Love (torture dept.), etc. The fact is, our culture has done exactly this by changing meanings to words. In the last days, men will call good evil and evil good. Relativists contradict themselves left and right and then tell me to listen to "reason", which of course was lost long ago when words lost meaning. This is why I study words - to gain understanding, to protect the Truth and to administer it to a truthless society. For only the Truth can set you free. Anyway, the poem is an example of some of the words people use against me, and where some of these words truly come from and what they mean. God is the God of paradox, but man is lost in oxymoron.

DOUBT YOUR DOUBTS, 21
The enemy's only power is the art of deception. He instills doubt and fear in humans through the lies he gets us to believe. All are susceptible if they do not cling to the truth. This poem addresses that problem, and offers the solution: if we dismiss doubt, reject our fears, and renounce our own will, we will find that there is no attack that can be successful against us. I like the conciseness of this poem, as well as the repetition, message, and sound of it. It's probably one of my faves.

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM, 41
This, believe it or not, was one of my first poems ever. It was written in the fall of 1998, on an inspiration on the spot while doing homework. I stopped what I was doing, wrote this down, and continued. It is very powerful despite any roughness from being one of the first. I wrote it originally to go to music, but I haven't been able to write the right music. It needs to fit the power of the words. Basically, it's about the struggle with depression and the struggle with success, for all struggle without Jesus. Satisfaction comes in no other place.

DREAMS, 52
This, like "The Colonel's Sandbox" from 4 years earlier, is a comparison poem. Each verse uses as many of the same words, wordings, and phrases as the previous, while conveying a new message. This was inspired by the hyped-up liberal outcry against war (and yes, I wrote it in Kuwait). They call those of us that supported the war "warmongers", but it's not like we desire war or hate peace. We all desire peace, but most people just don't look in the right place! If we all had Jesus, we'd all have the inner peace we've been looking for. I know this because I've seen it in my life and many others lives (see the second verse of "Bad Things Good"). If we allow Christ, the Prince of Peace, to bring peace to our own hearts, we will have peace with others too. But as long as there are those that resist Christ, there can never be total peace on earth until Christ reigns over all.

DUEL NATURE, 40
Obviously inspired by the title's play on words, this is a metaphorical depiction of the constant battle between the redeemed spirit and the fallen flesh. They are diametrically opposed to one another, yet manage somehow to both reside inside whatever it is I call "me". With the help of this "stranger" - a power from outside my own self, and who has a name - my redeemed spirit can have victory after victory against the flesh, but not without. Without the stranger, the duels will continue and no one wins except the one who wanted me to be divided agaist myself. Learn how to have victory!

ESPECIALLY TODAY, 44
This song was written recently in Iraq, as I began to (without my efforts) begin to actually grow up. The realization that I am getting married soon hits me every now and then, and it ultimately spurs me on to keep growing up - and this song is a representation of what it truly means to grow up - to rely every day on the strength that God gives us. This is a daily thing, which has been my main weakness, since I am not much of a time-disciplined man. But if I truly do what I say I ought to be doing in this song, I will succeed in all the places I am brought by Him. I find that the days that I set aside time for Him (even if it's not in the morning, which I could ONLY do with coffee), those are the days that I truly grow and rise above the petty things of the day, whatever challenges it brings. I remember one day that I was 2 hours late to work due to traffic, a blizzard, and getting in a car accident, and the whole day I was still in a very calm mood spiritually. That was one of those days that I had prepared for beforehand with the Lord. The feeling was distinct, and this song is both a promise and a reminder to do this as often as possible. An old preacher used to pray daily, "Lord, help me remember that nothing is going to happen to me today that You and I together can't handle." That's what this song is all about.

FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE, 20
I don't know what inspired this, but it was written at boot camp - one of two poems I wrote there. I like the imagery and conciseness of this one as well, and it gives you the picture of what the three that remain mean to me. I used the image of mountains for faith/faithfulness, for they stay strong in one place, just as a faithful one does, but faith the size of a mustard seed can move them as well! When all is said and done, these three remain, and this is what those three mean to me.

FATHER’S EYES, 26
This became the last BTM song to be put together, and I truly like the music we have for it. I think I may record it myself, as we never did. When I sat down to write this, I actually sat down to write something else, but this phrase (the last two lines) kept coming through my head. So I wrote this down instead. It is (clearly) about how the Father sees us, and we can't fool him. It is not meant to show God as an angry father, and us as always being 'in trouble'. That's a common mistake and I don't want to portray that here. The second verse hopefully shows my true feelings while looking into the eyes of the Father. I cannot help but gaze in sheer awe. For a similar song which may have helped inspire this, check out Jars of Clay.

FINDING NOTHING TO ADORE, 39
This is around a similar theme to Picket Fence and Pursuit of a Lifetime. We all desire something to worship. It's in our nature. Be it money, power, self, celebrities, sports 'heroes', other idols, all of us worship something. But none of them are worthy of worship, and we will not be satisfied. We "find nothing to adore", and lack of True Love leaves us "helpless and alone". As a poem, this expresses much of my life as well. As a sestina, it is an achievement because it has rhythm, rhyme, and deep meanings.

FORGET ME NOT, 14
Written on Christmas 2005, I wanted to write a Christmas poem, but I wasn't sure exactly what. It seems my views of Christmas, while a wonderful holiday, are saddened by how much Christ has been (and is being) removed from it, and how merchandized it is becoming (see also: "Green Christmas", written much earlier). This sonnet has 3 basic statements to it: the first 4 lines show that Christmas is, as everyone knows, a time for family and friends, presents, etc. The next 6 lines state a solemn reminder that all these are meaningless without Christ. "A stocking with no foot" refers to the feet of those who spread the good news, which the Lord calls "beautiful" (how about a Christmas song: "Go Tell It On The Mountain"). Our tree has been uprooted to sit in our living rooms, but it is now lifeless. The fire can warm skin, but not someone's heart or soul. The candles are not birthday candles for Christ. Line 10 itself points out that even on Christmas today, inns are full - and symbolically, so are our hearts - too full for Christ. The last lines bring it around to what Christmas is really about: that whether or not we want to listen to what the angels are saying, Christ coming to earth means salvation for man and reconciliation with God.

FORGET US, 40
This is much more believably one of the first ones I ever wrote. I don't especially like everything about it, but I think it speaks to the problems that music artists are susceptible to. Pride is a major factor when you're on stage so much, and that's what I was trying to address in this. I like some of the imagery and I like the feel of the poem/song over all. There's music in my head for it, but I don't know if I like it.

GETTING TO KNOW YOU NOW, 16
This was the first one I wrote down in Missouri. It is simply about growth in the Lord, and as I arrived in Missouri, I knew that that summer would be exactly that. It is the image of my knowing the Lord my whole life, but never really getting to know Him. I had long taken Him for granted, and been two-faced. There is no place for that in God's kingdom, and sometimes you don't realize that until you're in a place where you have to make a choice to live in sin or live righteous.

GOD KNOWS WHAT, 38
This was obviously inspired by the phrase "God-knows-what", and also the fact that I have been in many places where only God knows what's going to happen. The more I recognize the lack of sight that I have on my own, the more I can allow Christ to guide me. The more I allow Christ to guide me, the quicker I'll get to where I'm going without traveling down rabbit trails and hitting snares. We so often have worry and doubt about our futures - why shouldn't we? It's our future, right? But I say, if our lives have been given to Him, it's not our future anymore - it's His, and He will show us great things in us, through us, and around us if we're willing to go there. God knows where we'll be taken...

GOODNIGHT, GOOD MORNING, 30
I wrote this the day after Brenda left for Uzbekistan, where she is currently teaching English until April 2007. When she returns, we'll get married. Obviously, that's a long time to wait and be apart from each other. I wanted to write a song for her that would be lighthearted, personal, encouraging, and span the 8000 miles that is between us. Since she is 11 hours ahead of me here, it came out in this way. As I get up, I'm thinking of her, and she is just going to bed. It's about the assurance that God has us in His hand, that we have nothing to worry or be sad about. The line about "in my heart I know you've learned to love it" is actually referring to the tea, since Brenda does not like tea, but is probably drinking quite a bit of it over there right now! Other than that, this is one of the nicest, catchiest songs I've written, and the first song I've written solely for Brenda. And of course, I love it for that reason.

THE GOOD STEWARD, 24
The parable of the talents inspired this one, especially when one realizes that every good and perfect gift that we have comes from the Father of Lights, in whom there is no shadow or turning! The point of this one is not just that God gives me gifts, and I must be faithful with them, but about one gift in particular. This gift is not fully given yet, but allotted piece by piece, according to His timing and how much I can handle at the moment. Already, it is the most valuable responsibility I have been given, and I must lead that relationship as a faithful steward, by His grace alone! Thank the Lord that He provides His grace along with His gifts!

GRANDMA’S BATHROOM, 7 sentences*
This was my first try at a prose poem, when I had just learned what it was. It came out of a free-write session in which we were supposed to write about a location out of sheer memory. The bathroom that I describe is indeed what my grandma (Mary's) bathroom looked like - about 7 years ago. I only go up there once a year, so I just remembered it from my childhood, when I would do all the things I included in the description. I have about 25+ cousins, so that fit fine. The best thing about this is that it truly shows what a good prose poem can be. The prose poem's units are sentences, as opposed to the pure poem's lines. You are forced to take it in sections just as you are forced to read a poem by line. The internal music and overall rhythm of it keep up the poetry, and even grandma enjoyed it, and wants to put a copy up in the bathroom.

GREEN CHRISTMAS, 12
I don't believe I wrote this anytime really near Christmas - I think it was either March or September - but it was at a time when I had "I'm dreaming of a White Christmas" in my head. The first two lines of this poem popped into my head, and the other ten followed. What it turned out to be looked innocent enough at first, but the more I read it, the more I am taken by the power of the last stanza, especially the last two lines. That God gave Christ to us, while we were yet sinners and enemies of God, is so far beyond my little mind. I can't thank Him enough. None of us would be willing to give our child whom we love very much as a gift to someone who would hate it and kill it. But He did.

A HAPPY ENDING, 112
This is the longest poem I've written (in words), and the second-longest in lines. It's a simple story, but it posed many challenges mainly because of the form I chose to give it! Repeating "ending" and words that rhyme with it, for 14 stanzas! You can probably tell that I was running out of ways to use that limited bunch. However, the story itself is simply a reminder, as many of my poems have been, to obey the warning in the Song of Solomon: "do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires" (i.e. until it is the proper time) The character in the poem is similar to me, in a sort of symbolic way. He goes about things literally the way I did in my mind - he longs for love, he creates images of beautiful women, and they almost become his idols - every day he is looking for something new, his fancies change a little or a lot, etc. Then one day someone comes to test his true heart. This of course is my Heavenly Father, who has many times tested the condition of my heart. If I were to make this poem literally about me, the visitor would have to have broken several sculptures before he ever brought in his daughter. The parts of this story that aren't literally about me are the parts that make it its own story: that Joe happened to sculpt an "ideal" image of what he wanted, then the visitor brings him his daughter, who is the exact image of that sculpture. I did make my requests known to God, and He has brought me a marvelous woman who exceeds my expectations, but I like His version WAY better than mine! Cute story (with a happy ending), but it's more about the way that I (or Joe) came to mature from my flesh's desires to my heart's desires, and how God tested my (or Joe's) heart before he ever brought His daughter to me (or to Joe).

HAPPY-HUNTING, 30
I wrote this one of the last weeks I was in Kuwait, but it was inspired by some things I was realizing about myself. I had realized to some degrees that I had long been known as an emotional prowler, an overly-flirtatious person that can't keep any friendship platonic. I also knew that this was present in my life because I was searching for validation and acceptance from women instead of from the Lord. And because of this fault, many relationships had been strained, sprained, or even broken, and many hearts damaged besides my own. So this poem is very much about me! The first analogy is hunting a deer, and the deer trusts me - all the way until the arrow hits it. The second is the oyster. If you salt an oyster, it will open its mouth without you having to pry forcefully. There have been many righteous young women that are trying to guard their hearts, that I have spiced them with my words, and defrauded them. So, this poem is simply a repentance of all the damage I have inflicted on people's hearts from my sinful searchings.

THE HARD ROCK, 30
This poem's inspiration is actually a little more complicated than it sounds at first read. It was inspired not by the parable of the wise man who built his house upon the rock (though that lesson is present in the poem), but by the engagement ring that I gave Brenda on June 25, 2004. It has two smaller diamonds on either side of a large center diamond, signifying how Christ is the center of our relationship, how we surrender to him, how He walks between us, and also, how He causes the two to become one. As I started thinking about diamonds, I saw yet another significance to the diamond being on a wedding ring - the hardest, most solid of all stones is a good picture of the Hard Rock that we build our lives on, and it is also one of the most beautiful of all gems, with an infinite number of sparkles. The more I think about diamonds, love, and life in Christ, the more I am captivated and fascinated by the Solid Rock on which I stand.

HOUSE OF CARDS, 16
Another from Missouri. I'm not sure what the inspiration was for this one, but I could see that many people I was with had long been building their lives on worthless things. I remember the days when I would try to make card houses - I was never very good at it, but I tried. But the flimsiness of them, no matter how elaborate, always struck me. In fact, the more elaborate, often times the flimsier it was. The poem basically speaks to the parable of building your house on the sand, and those people who say "don't bother me with the facts, my mind is made up." Those are the people that live in card houses, who break at the slightest wind.

I DON'T HAVE THE RHYME, 16
As I was reading some poetry on poetry.com (where any old schmo can post their "poetry" - I personally have 22 on there), I was rather amused at how difficult it seems for some people to be able to write in rhyme. If they get the rhyme down, the rhythm is off, but sometimes they just write a bunch of words, even though it would not be very hard to put it to rhyme. So I wrote this poem as kind of a mockery (not too mean, just silly), showing that it can be really easy to rhyme. I was very careful at the words I used, so that they average joe would easily be able to fill in the blank as to what word should be there, but instead "give up" and rhyme the same word with itself. It's not that hard people! And in case you are very dense (no offense), the words that should be there are "time", "birds", "right", and "mine".

IF I WERE AN EVIL DICTATOR, 30
More humor at the expense of my escapades. Another Marine and I were talking about whether Saddam Hussein was still alive, and how if he is, he's probably hiding with as much hidden wealth as he could get, seeing as we've frozen his other assets. "That's what I'd do, anyway, if I were an evil dictator," I said. I asked other Marines what they'd do if they were an evil dictator. One said that all his servants would be midgets, so he'd wake up every day with a smile on his face. Another, embodying the attitude of all of us in Kuwait at the time, simply said, "I'd go home." So go ahead, get creative - what would you do if you were an evil dictator?

INDIAN SUMMER, 14
This was one of the many poems I wrote during my poetry class in the fall of 2001. The weather that year was very odd, getting in the mid-70s in early November. All the Halloween pumpkins were still sitting on porches, having felt frost a few days before, and everyone was outdoors again, enjoying the unexpected warm sun. Though I didn't make this poem rhyme, I tried to put repetition and correlation as much as possible.

IN HIS STEPS, 34
This is one of the few songs that I have written at the same time as its music. I wrote the poem's structure to the music I had put together, but the purpose of writing it was to recommit my direction to the Lord. "That last river that I went through" refers to a very sinful encounter I had in August of 2002 with a girl I had just met, and I finally realized the consequences of my slacking off in that area of defense, and the place I would quickly get if I continued along that path. This song is the vocalization of my recommittment to follow the Lord where He's going, and not try to do things my own way, for that leads to destruction. And, like some of my poems/songs, this one has come back to mean much more the second time. It's almost like "wow, so that's why I wrote it!" Think about this song in terms of my going off to war, having left everything behind. Means something more than before, doesn't it? It certainly does.

TO: [Insert Your Name Here], 21
This is both the sweetest and funniest poem I have written. It does have music, but I'm trying to make it more interesting. I was listening to the oldies one day, when I realized that many of the songs of that era mentioned the girl (or boy) they were singing about (examples: "Sherry baby", "Donna", "Valerie", "Jonny Angel", "Suzy Q", etc.). The "love songs" today, no matter how sweet, could easily be written for one girl, and sung to another later on if that relationship doesn't last - which, in today's culture, happens too often. So, I endeavored to write a "love song" that had all the sweetness and cliché of the common love song, but made sure to leave room for whoever the singer chose to address it to. The result is both the sweetest and most generic of love songs! I have had many girls tell me that they'd just melt if someone wrote this for them, but they laugh at the same time, because in order for them to insert their name here, they would disrupt the whole rhythm and rhyme of the song. Unless their name happens to be Guinevere.

LAME, 24
There is quite a story behind this one. The first verse and inspiration for the song comes from a story-joke that I enjoy:
Farmer Henry lived just outside of town, about two miles from the outskirts. His wife looked down on his drinking habits, so in order to get a drink at all, he would have to sneak out at night and head to the bar just on the edge of town in the night while his wife slept. He always tried to sneak back in bed without her noticing, and was often successful. One night he snuck out to the bar, drank for a few hours, and then decided it was time to go. He got up from his stool and took a step for the door. He fell flat on his face. "I didn't think I'd drank that much", he thought to himself. He tried to get up and take another step, but he fell on his face again. He got up to his knees, and decided all he could to was try to crawl home. He crawled the 2 miles from the bar to his home, managed to get in the house and even into bed without waking his wife. But the next morning, he awoke to his irate wife standing over him with a scornful look: "Henry! Did you go to the bar again last night?!" "Well, yes", he replied, "but how did you find out?" "The bartender called - you left your wheelchair there again."
In this joke, I found a spiritual truth - he was too drunk to realize that he couldn't walk on his own. We get so drunk on the things of this world that we don't realize that we can't even walk a good walk without assistance. There is a line in this poem, "some say you're like my crutch, but I don't think I'm there yet". This is a direct response to former Governor Jesse Ventura's comment that in his opinion, religion is a crutch for the weak-minded. In response to that idea, rather than denying it, I admit that I am so helpless and fallen that I need more than a crutch - I need a wheelchair. And of course, like so many of my poems and songs, there is redemption at the end of all my struggles. Because I serve the Lord of the Dance!

LEAD ME NOT, 24
The first verse of this poem was written over a year before the second verse. The second verse was written at Niko in August of 2001, during the Surrender Theme day. We went off to our separate places to come up with a definition for surrender, and I flipped through the notebook I had with me. I found the first verse and first chorus, and it fit so perfectly with the theme of the day, that I finished the poem. I believe I wrote this one before I wrote "The Lord's Prayer [American Style]", because they were based off of the same inspiration: "lead me not into temptation - in fact, lead me not at all". It's the attitude our flesh has constantly, and this poem shows the result of it.

LIFE AS A SHOELACE, 14
This was my version of a persona poem - I don't know if it's a true persona poem, but it's the best I could do. I just tried to be an object - to see the world from the eyes of (pick the first thing I look at....okay, a shoelace). What comes out instead is a pun-filled cheesefest that I shamefully enjoy. I don't like puns any more than the next person, but I use them because they're there. And there wasn't anything else to write about. You try relating a shoelace to life and do it with a straight face!

LIFT A SAIL, 24
This poem is inspired mainly by the story of the disciples and Jesus in the sea of Galilee, when Jesus rebuked the storm and it became calm. Most of us complain about life's trials, all the tossing and turning, and how we feel like we could capsize at any moment. The truth is, if Jesus is in our boat, we need not fear any wind or waves! This gives a new meaning to "prevailing winds" - we won't let the winds prevail! Instead, we can lift the sail and use the roughest of winds to blow us wherever we need to go. We have that authority over the trials of life.

LIGHT UNTO MY PATH, 28
This song came to me just before I fell asleep one night in 2000. I had to get out of bed to write it down before I forgot it. The music came at the same time, which doesn't happen all that often for me. Its meaning is pretty self-explanatory, but the chorus was the kicker that came to me that night. Direction in life can only be found in our design, which can only be understood by knowing our Designer.

A LITTLE CONFUSED, 18
I wrote this at work while I was having a bad day. I had been very pressured and generally stressed out, and I needed some peace. As far as the poem itself goes, I like the style of it, and the word choice. I mean really, whose mind is a shade of plaid?

A LITTLE LESSON I’VE LEARNED, 29
This was written in October of 2000, after it became clear that Bethany and I could never again be friends like we once were. I was aware of what had happened, I was just not aware that the consequences would be so great. There were other issues after this poem, this being the second of four or five concerning Bethany, and I later wanted to call it "A Lesson I Should Have Learned", or "A Lesson I Haven't Learned". Though I've made the same mistake many times, this at least warns others of the problems I faced in this area. True love will never be fulfilled in another person here on earth. Even the loveliest of relationships here is imperfect because the members of that relationship are imperfect. We can only rely on our relationship with the Perfect One to survive.

THE LORD’S PRAYER (American Style), 12
This one relates to "Lead Me Not", but I don't know which one was written first. I was very flattered to receive this poem in my email - I had forwarded it to a few friends, and they in turn to theirs, and so forth, until one of my friends that had not read it received it and forwarded it to me! When I informed them that I had written it, they said I should publish it. Indeed, I intend to publish most of my poems, but it's always good to know that they're appreciated. Anyway, it's pretty obvious what this one is about, so I won't insult your intelligence.

THE LOSING GAME, 56
This is by far one of my best poems. It appears in 3 different books (relationships, stories, and lessons), and it truly sums up everything I believe about the dating game. The girl in the poem is actually a mask character - meaning that the true character in this poem is myself. I made it into a girl for two reasons: (1) so people wouldn't automatically think that I wrote it about my own experience, and (2) because the experiences I have had desiring love and a companion more resemble the problems that girls experience. Although that sounds odd, part of it is because I just hung around with girls far more often than guys, thus assimilating some of their tendencies. Either way, this poem has been helpful to many girls who find themselves in this type of a situation, and I'm glad, because that's really the point of all my poems. This poem especially shows the nature of the taker's relationship, the girl giving sex for love, the guy giving "love" for sex, neither of them getting what they really want or need, and quickly tiring of the charade - only to move on to the next charade. I could write pages and pages on this, but instead I decided to write 56 lines in 7 stanzas. I hope it's adequate to get my point across. I truly hope that if you're in a dating relationship, or desiring one, that you examine it in a Godly light and see what your motives are. If both of your hearts are sold out to Jesus and not just to eachother, carry on. But in most cases, this just isn't so - you're going to lose that game.

LOVE LETTERS, 32
This was actually one of the first songs/poems I ever wrote. I wrote it outside on the mall at the U of MN my freshman quarter, 1998. I had actually been thinking about the relationship I had with Bethany, and how it was based solely on the letters we sent back and forth. It was tough to be apart, but through our letters, we could relate to one another, get to know one another, even love one another from such a distance. And she's not the only one I've had a long-distance friendship with, she was just the only one at the time this was written. Now, she never sent me any letters with perfume (most of it was email, and that would just ruin your computer), nor many romantic love letters of any kind. But the reason I exaggerated in the first verse was to get the point, which was the revelation I had had while thinking about letters. The Bible is the love letter that God has written to us, in order that we may know him more, relate to him, and love him. Everything we know about God we can find in the Bible, and it is made real to us by His Holy Spirit. Next time you read the Bible, read it as a love letter and see what is revealed to you - ask why He would tell us _____ (what you're reading), and I think it will help every piece of study you ever do in the Bible. Fall in love with Christ through the words of life!

LOVER OF THE AGES, 32
This was partly inspired by John Eldredge's book The Sacred Romance, but mostly by an awesome time at church one Sunday morning, right after Valentine's Day. Having romance on the mind, God showed me what true romance really is! I've been seeking that from Him lately, and I can't believe it's taken me this long! Let me tell you, there's nothing like it!

LOVE SONNET #1, 14
Brenda sent me a letter in March that included an awesome poem, Shakespeare's Sonnet #16, a love sonnet. I thought it was the most amazing thing, as words are quite possibly my love language. I decided that Shakespeare shouldn't have one up on me, especially since he's never met Brenda, the most amazing and awesome woman ever to live! So I had to write my own! I love sonnets, though I don't think I've written any, but I've never written love sonnets (though I did memorize Sonnet #18, also found in Book 8). I called this one Love Sonnet #1 because I intend to write more.

LOVE SONNET #2, 14
I intended to write more, and indeed I have! I decided to make this one even more Shakespearean, and just like the subtitle of the last one, I kinda poke fun at and challenge Shakespeare to match my love for Brenda! In the lines "What summer's day can ever be compared / As some great bards may yet be wont to try", it's a reference to his Sonnet XVIII, as well as a tribute. He is known as "the Bard" in most literary circles. Anyway, this one is subtitled "of the time and music of love", and it shows that love is both a neverending song and something that weathers the seasons. The answer to the initial question is found in the last two lines - the best time for love to be shown is every day, with the strength we are given for each day and each tomorrow. I'm having trouble ever going back from iambic pentameter, now that I've gotten into it, but that makes this one deeper,and I really enjoy it! I hope you do too.

LOVE SONNET #3, 14
This one is subtitled "on the spice of love's seasons", and plays on the words "spice" and "season", noting that spices are also called seasonings; even thyme is a spice! So I play on how time gives spice and flavor to love, and finally bring it around to how if time can do all that to love, think of what eternity can do! It is a much stronger love that is based in eternity than one based only on time, and such is the love that I have with my Brenda.

LOVE SONNET #4, 14
The subtitle for this is on the source of loves beauty, because it is here that I describe not only the things that make Brenda beautiful to me, but also the source of where it all comes from our Lover and Friend, the Lord Jesus Christ. She would not be able to remain beautiful to me for the rest of our lives if it werent for the amazing joy that she finds in my Lord, and the strength I find to love her because of my Lord. Certainly love takes work, but true love requires the grace of God above all else. It is His beauty that is the source of all love.

LOVE SONNET #5, 14
The first poem I had written in a full year (my longest drought ever), this is to the mother of my children, on her first mothers day, 2007. She calls this her easiest mothers day, since of course, our first child is still inside her! Still, I wanted to praise her for all that she has gone through, is going through, and will go through for the sake of bearing and raising our children. She is truly a Proverbs 31 woman, and to be praised, as the last lines quote from Proverbs 31. I also reference Psalm 127:4-5, Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of ones youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. Since I see our purpose as a couple to be spiritual warriors, our children are indeed arrows. I am very happy to have been able to write this after such a long time off, but of course, I was sufficiently inspired by the mother of my children!

MADAM I’M ADAM, 30
I like the idea of this song, because I try to put as much palindromes as possible, as well as repeating words in a different order. I tried to reverse sentences in idea, and it worked part of the time and not others, but that's okay. You get the idea. I was mainly trying to illustrate the repetition of sin and the circular course I sometimes find myself on. Certainly we are called to live in victory, but I often find myself trying to do things on my own strength, and then it becomes a vicious cycle.

THE MEASURE OF A MAN, 38
One of only a few poems of mine that dont rhyme, this is more of a comparative, proverb-like poem. Indeed it even references many proverbs and other Bible verses for each statement. Inspired by Wild at Heart (a book that has inspired many of my poems), and also by my arrival in Iraq in 2003, I was beginning to understand the difference between youth and maturity. While many of the comparisons made seem like splitting hairs, they were all very meaningful to me at the time, since the first part of each one usually represents the immature perspective I had been living in, and the second part the more mature reality. I was hoping to find verses for all the comparisons, so as not to make any rash generalizations what it means for me to be a man may be a little different than what God has called others to be but I hope that what Ive written can be found true through a more extensive Bible study. I wrote this, of course, without any concordance or cross-study tools. Perhaps I will update the references as I find them.

THE MERCY RULE, 60
I tried a new rhyme scheme with this long, iambic pentameter poem, and I think it finishes each stanza with a more complete thought group. The build-up is supposed to start with the complete worthlessness of me, mankind, and work its way through the striving that we all do to better ourselves, discover that were just dying trying, and then eventually, we come to the end of ourselves. There is where God reveals Himself, showing us the loophole in the law where only He can save us, by sacrificing the perfect (His son, Jesus) to make the imperfect (mankind) pure. I refer to it as a loophole, but really it is the very nature of Gods law. Evil must be punished, but Greater Love triumphs over all. It is like the laws of lift and thrust overcoming gravity gravity does not cease to exist, but flying is possible because of the other laws. In the same way, the law of sin and death still requires punishment, but the law of Resurrection Life means that a Loving God can punish a Perfect One once for all. But it doesnt end there; the law of Resurrection Life (the Mercy Rule) also allows for the resurrection of the dead scapegoat (or, sacrificial lamb), which is why Jesus is alive and glorified. The point of this whole poem is (1) the worthlessness of mankind, (2) the pointlessnesss of striving to be good, (3) the Loving Lord, (4) the punishment of the perfect in our stead, (5) the resurrection of Christ, overcoming all death. This is also known as the gospel message.

MOTHBALLS AND SKELETONS, 30
This was the first poem I ever wrote (July 1998), at least that I still have. It was made into a song a year later by Balaam's Talking Mule (for those of you who don't know, my old band), and though it was recorded, it was damaged in the mastering and never made it on the CD. It's too bad, because it was one of our better ones. The idea of the song is simply that of hiding sin. Man has done it since the first sin, so I know it's something we all do. It's a bit of an accusing song, as a few people pointed out, sounding like the person speaking is being self-righteous in the matter. That's not the intention at all. Rather, it's meant to wake people up to the truth that when you keep silent about your sin, you waste away. True freedom can only come when you confess your sin and repent, and the Lord is faithful to forgive and cleanse us. The last part of this poem turns away from addressing the reader/listener, and rather confesses to his own problems in the matter by praying that prayer. Skeletons in your closet will stay there until you let the Lord clean the closet. There are no skeleton-eating moths.

MY LIONESS, 24
I was reading Wild at Heart by John Eldredge (which instantly became one of my favorite books), and he was talking about the heart of a woman (the book is about the heart of the man, so he had to put a little in there about the woman). He dispells the idea that women are merely dainty and sweet, but addresses the "spice" side of a woman. They are also in need of adventure, and they do not lack in ferociousness. He said the heart of a woman is more like the lioness than the lamb - she is dangerous, she is seductive, she is respected and even feared. She is not to be trifled with. I knew right away that it was true, as I had someone specific in mind, and so I wrote this poem about my future mate - the lioness at heart who longs for the great adventure we will take together. I think when I meet that future someone, and she finds out that it's about her, she'll love it.

NEW LIFE, 12 sentences*
This was written during a free-write in my poetry class, fall of 2001. Each person drew a picture, then we passed the pictures to someone else in the room, and then wrote something about the picture we had been given. The picture given to me was a pencil sketch of a stubby little bird flying over a prairie, under what looked like a huge funnel cloud, about to engulf it. The picture didn't really have any meaning, the person told me, but I gave it some with this lovely prose poem. I think it's obvious enough the correlations I drew between the two characters, and whether or not you think there's a point, and whether or not you think it's a happy ending, I like it.

NIGHT AND DAY, 32
I wrote this song in summer of 2001. It was the phrases "night and day, night into day, night from day, etc." that kept running through my head, and I knew I needed to write a song using several different usages of these words. The first verse talks about how God's sight is higher than mine, and His ways higher than my ways. The second is how He has changed my night into day, which is an integral attribute of God - His redemptive power. This was also the first song I wrote that I actually liked the music to - I like how it flows, I like how the words play off eachother, and I like how catchy the song is when sung. You should hear it sometime.

NIGHT NO MORE, 33
I wrote this one recently, when the revelation came to me that light and darkness are not polar opposites, the yin and the yang, the good vs. bad in an equal opposition to one another. Rather, one tiny candle in a room lights up the whole room, and the darkness cannot overcome the light. Ever! What was the first thing that God created? LIGHT. And He separated the light from the darkness. He did not separately create light and darkness. Darkness is not even an entity, it is merely the absence of light. In the same way, the darkness of our souls is merely the absence of the True Light. Peter's walking on water was also a matter of recognizing the true light, rather than resisting the darkness. This is one of the most important spiritual truths that we miss every day! We try to resist sin, and thus we resist on our own strength. We may have some victory, but eventually we will tire or fail. But if we focus on Jesus, on knowing Him and loving Him, and enjoying Him, knowing that He enjoys us, we live by the Spirit, not by the flesh. Our old nature is put to death by neglect, by starving it. Not by beating it. If we recognize the darkness within us merely needs to be filled with the Truth, we have found the key to living righteous lives of victory!

NORTH ATLANTIC, 32
The explanation to this poem will sound strange, because it came at a time in my life that is now over (or at least different). This poem is inspired by a part from Wild at Heart, by John Eldredge. He is counseling a young man who comes to him with relationship problems. The young man is stressed out because he's been having all sorts of problems and difficulties with the young woman he is seeing. His last girlfriend was all peaches and cream, they never had a fight, always got along, and life was good. The only problem was, they weren't good for eachother - she didn't challenge him to be a man at all, and she wasn't sure he could be the man she needed. So they had broken up. Now this young man was having so many arguments and misunderstandings with this new girl, that he was about to call it quits. John Eldredge addressed this issue by saying, "You want the Bahamas, like you had with [first girl]. [Current girl] is the North Atlantic. Which one requires a real man?" As soon as I read that, or even before I did, I could see an exact parallel in my own life. My relationship with Bethany was so perfect, we never had one argument or disagreement, not one dispute or hurt feeling, until the end. Our friendship was not superficial, it was just not the relationship that we both needed for the rest of our lives. She challenged me in my faith, but she knew that I was not the man she needed. I was drawing my strength from her, not imparting it to her. So our relationship seemed like the Bahamas, all fun in in the sun and life is grand. The relationship that the Lord was leading me into last year is much scarier. It was good for me, for the Lord led me, but there was no one in this world that scared me more than this woman. I will not go into further detail, as the Lord has now led me through, beyond, and in a different direction, but it's scary to go into a relationship where I know that we (I and the woman I marry) are both strong-willed people, and we argue, and we misunderstand eachother. But I do know two things about it: (1) she challenges me to be a man, and (2) by facing this challenge, I will be rewarded with the exact thing that God intended - a truly agape-based intimate relationship, loving her as Christ loves his church. There is no point in longing for the Bahamas, when I need to be a real man and sail the North Atlantic.

NOT WHO I AM, 16
I had recently been feeling very accused, believing the lies that the devil was telling me, that I'd never achieve victory over sin, that I'd never accomplish great things for God because I had so many problems, and that I could never preach the truth to anyone because I couldn't live it myself. Stated this way, they sound like very obvious lies, but they were so subtle and so acceptable that I did indeed accept them. Finally, I realized that the reason I was NOT living in victory was because I had believed these lies. This poem is not very long, but it says exactly what it needs to.

ODE TO AN ODE, 22
This is a silly poem that I thought of at work when I was bored. I wanted to write an ode to something, so I decided to pick one that no one else ever has (to my knowledge). It's pretty self-explanatory...a song about a song, words of praise to the words of praise. Nothing deeper was ever meant by it. If you want to find some, go ahead. But it says what it says.

OF THE LILY'S FINE BOUQUET, 26
This is the first poem I've ever written in iambic pentameter, and I like it. I actually have one stanza of another poem (see if you can find it) in that form, but this is the first time I've actually tried. It allows for so many more descriptive words. Anyway, this poem is fairly deep, but it basically outlines the difference between what I used to be and what I am becoming. I wanted to write about the cynical flowers, but I also didn't want it to seem negative, as if I am still there. The cynical flowers represent the regrets that used to plague me, from all the mistakes I'd made in relationships. They would keep me back from growing out of them. As I tried to describe that, the poem seemed hopeless, and so I knew I had to describe where I've come to now. I no longer regret my mistakes, but I have forgiven myself. It was hard to do. But I see that the new path, the new growth, the new blossoms - they are far finer than any bouquet I could have ever put together. Also, the Lily represents Christ (the Lily of the Valley), and the word "florid" is a loaded word, but means "colorful" in this sense.

ONE SIGNIFICANT OTHER, 32
This was another didactic poem that I wrote to teach people some of the lessons I've learned about relationships. We all search for intimacy - it's how we're built. But our flesh wants to find it in another person, and forget that God is the only one who can truly give intimacy. The first verse describes what most people go through looking for intimacy for their souls. The second verse, in a good comparison, shows how to actually find that intimacy. I really love this poem because it gives the answer and the gospel to everyone who is searching. I know I was searching, and I know that I have found what I was looking for, and that's why I just had to share it!

PANTOUM IN BOSTON, 20
This is a pantoum - a form poem in which the second and fourth line of one stanza become the first and third of the next. There is no limit to how many four-line ABAB stanzas you can have, but it must end with the same line as it began. I wanted the journey I take the reader on to mirror the pattern of the poem, and so I describe the city's scene in Boston. Believe it or not, I've never stopped in Boston (just drove through), I've never been there in the fall, I've never sat on a park bench there in the rain, and I've never read a poem in French. So regardless of the fact that it describes things I've never done, I think it does very well what it's supposed to. The lines that repeat also often change their meaning, though the words stay the same. "There's a couple lines I'm lost in" has two meanings, the first being the poetry I'm reading, and the second being sidewalk queues. "Of the vendors selling wares" has two prepositional meanings, the first being that the sidewalks are full of them, and the second that they are the ones staring at me. By the end, the reader has been through my surroundings, and the last stanza pictures me looking back down at my poetry and coming full circle back to the bench, ignoring what's just been described around me. I think it is a very successful poem, especially as a pantoum, and the humor I see of it is that I've done absolutely nothing that I'm doing in this poem.

THE PICKET FENCE, 40
After all the battles I've had with loneliness, and the feeling [the lie] that I need to get married and/or "find love" in order to be whole and happy, I find that the real culprit is that there remains an idol in my life. I call this idol the "Picket Fence", and it's the idea that life would be grand if only I had a wife, kids, a nice home [with a picket fence], etc, - the American dream that becomes an a nightmare when it's the object of obsession. Instead, I need to focus my love and passion on the One who makes life worth living. Passion focused anywhere else will be frustrated and despair. Never let your first love play second fiddle!

PLAINLY UNDERSTOOD, 20
This is not a poem I'm that proud of, as far as style, quality, or execution. But I needed to write down some of the wisdom from Proverbs, and so it came out in a simple form. I think it is moderately successful in teaching a few lessons that we read about in the Proverbs, and its simple couplets make it easy to read, understand, and remember. If you want better poetry, go to the real Psalms and Proverbs.

PLEASE ALLOW MYSELF TO INTRODUCE...MYSELF, 47
Not only does this poem have more pop-culture references than the rest of my poems combined (I think), I like its hodge-podge style. It is incongruous, doesn't entirely flow smoothly, and the rhyme scheme changes every so often. It's even got 47 lines, a prime number. However, that's a lot like the way life is when you're focused only on yourself. I find myself battling pride quite often, and the only way to really get over it is to realize that I am nothing without Christ, and I am only something when I am living IN Him, in humble submission to His will. So this is, well, a song all about me...that very conceited and deceived me.

POLISHED SILVER, 32
This is an ode that I wrote to my parents for their 25th wedding anniversary (also known as the silver anniversary), in August of 2003. I was still in Kuwait, so this was my gift to them. There are many more references in here than most people would be able to pick out, so Ill explain as many as possible. Obviously, 1978 is when they were married, but the next few lines refer not only to the many things that have happened over their life, but also the most recent things, such as my being in Iraq for the invasion, and my brother Matt also being in the Navy at this time. The second half of the first stanza refers to the first 8 years of their marriage, where they believed that God was going to send them as missionaries to the Virgin Islands. They remained packed and ready to go for a long time, and finally realized that this was not Gods calling when He gave them a house in 1986. Instead, Gods call involved that house specifically they have now provided hospitality for literally hundreds, even thousands of people over the last 20 years because of that house. The call to missions was actually a call to support missionaries by relationships and hospitality. It was a new direction for them, and He has blessed it. The second verse is an encouragement to focus on the areas theyve succeeded, since its always much easier to look at our failures. I was honoring them for all the things theyd done right, both in life and in parenting. The third verse talks about all the things that me and my two brothers have become, which is a direct fulfillment of a prophecy given to them very early in their marriage: your household will be filled with books, music, and the love of the Lord. I also acknowledge that they have many more children than just us, their three sons. The last verse encourages them once more to keep running the good race, being polished by Him when times get hard. This poem was my way of proactively keeping the 5th commandment: honor your father and mother, since I dont think that only means dont say anything bad about them or disobey them, but really means to rise up and give them public honor.

¿PORQUÉ TU ME AMAS?, 16
This is my first poem in Spanish, and hopefully not my last. I was sitting in Kuwait in July, and doing some refreshing on my languages. I wondered if I still knew enough Spanish to write a meaningful poem. It's very primitive and I don't even know if the grammar is 100% correct, but it does have meaning. It's simply a wondering at God's amazing, unconditional love for us. Click here for the translation.

PRAYER OF REPAIR, 29
I am very proud of this poem. There is so much in it that just came out so well. It is hard to do with a sestina like this one, but it worked. During my poetry class in the fall of 2001, I started having a few resurfacing feelings about Bethany. I was assigned to write a sestina, and so I took care of both things at once. The shoes I was wearing at the time were my yellow and blue Converse All-Stars, which Bethany and I purchased together (she got blue and yellow ones), which reminded me of her, and which also by this time (nearly 2 years later) had large holes in them - so much so that I could not wear them in the rain. This very day I was caught in the rain with them, and from that leak sprung this entire poem, which I wrote while sitting at Taste of Manhatten on Washington Ave. The poem makes the clear analogy of the hole in the sole of my shoe to the hole in my soul through which those resurfacing feelings leaked. I had said goodbye to Bethany 9 months before that, but October was her birthday, and I was thinking about her again. I especially like this poem because it shows clearly everything that I went through in that relationship, how it happened, and how it left me afterwards. Though I stretch the repeated words a bit in places (a great technique with sestinas), it makes it all the more meaningful as I pray to the Lord to heal my soul, rather than just mend a hole. Only He can do that. And only He has done it. Daddy's got me a new pair of shoes...

PURSUIT OF A LIFETIME, 31
This is one of the only poems/songs that I have written from the music. We had some really cool music that we wanted to use in BTM (my old band), but it was such a long and different song, that there were no words we could really put to it. So I had them play it a few times through while I sat and wrote down these words. The music itself inspired these words, for the stages of music sounded like a journey, from darkness to victory. What came out of it was the saga of a lost sheep - wandering lost, seeking the Lord, the Lord seeking and drawing near to me, being saved and then running with Him in victory for eternity. What a journey, what an adventure! What a Good Shepherd He is!

PYRAMID TO SELFISHNESS, 26
This is a silly little poem that I obviously wrote to see if I could. I created a form to follow, and the form was so restrictive that I didn't really think about the content as I wrote it. Nor was I that happy with what came out, only that I had accomplished the form I set out to make. The form, if you couldn't tell, is to have 26 lines, each beginning with the respective letter of the alphabet. The reason it makes a pyramid is because each line has exactly one more letter than the one above it, thus the last line begins with Z and has 26 letters. Trying to find the correct words to put into this was a challenge indeed, especially for the first 3-4 lines! If you think it's not hard, try it yourself. I may try it again someday and be more successful, but this is all I got so far. The reason it's called a pyramid to selfishness is because the subject matter pretty much relates to my being poor, and how rich people care nothing for the poor. The pyramids were built by the work of poor slaves, simply to exalt their own dead bodies. This pyramid is a response to the pride of the rich and powerful - our own pyramid cries out. At least, that's all the meaning I could really put into it...

THE REDDEST ROSE, 68
This was truly a masterpiece, and written only 6 months after its cousin "The Rescue" (see below). Both are long, story poems in iambic pentameter, both are love stories to and about Brenda, and both took a lot of work and thought. This one was inspired by my own words, though those were inspired by the Holy Spirit. When Brenda and I met at Niko, one of the things that I said about her during a prayer time together really stuck with her, and she wrote it down this year in the book "Captivating", the sequel to "Wild At Heart". She wrote it in there and then sent me the book when she was finished. When I got to that part, I read my own words looking up at me from two years earlier! I only vaguely remembered saying them, but I do remember that they were my first impression of Brenda's spirit: "Not everyone appreciates a rose's beauty, and not everyone stops to smell it. But the rose is still beautiful - especially to its owner." When I saw those words, I was looking from such a new perspective, having since courted and become engaged to that beautiful rose! So this poem is a great story of how I went to the Lord (The Gardener), searching for my beautiful rose. All of the flowers in the garden were beautiful, all of them well-raised by the Gardener. This is a picture of all the women I had pursued in the past - very godly, beautiful women in body and spirit, all of whom have made wonderful wives for other godly men since then. I wanted to show how special Brenda is to me, and how all the others can't even compare to her. The story continues with the Gardener, once He's witnessed that I'm not truly satisfied with the ones I've seen so far, taking me into His special room, where He's been growing one just for me. Truly I've seen how God has prepared me for Brenda and Brenda for me, long before He led me to her. Once I saw that rose's beauty, I knew that I knew that I knew that she was the one. The Gardener gives me stern advice (as seen in an earlier poem, "The Good Steward") to take good care of her, and He equips me to do so. Surely it is the greatest task I've ever been given, but it's worth it for the most beautiful rose ever grown in His great garden!

THE RESCUE, 64
This is the first story poem I've written in about 2 years, and I managed to write it in iambic pentameter. At 64 lines, that was a lot of work! It also marks the seventh poem to be inspired by John Eldredge's book Wild At Heart. The poem is basically the fairy-tale story that everyone knows - a knight fights his way through thorns, kills a dragon, scales the castle wall and kills all the enemy guards, all to rescue his princess, who is held captive in the highest tower. We all know the story, and it's so trite to us now that most don't ever think they'll ever be involved in something like it in real life. But it is exactly this disillusionment that holds her captive, that very lie that keeps him from breaking through. The truth is, the fairy tale is there because our hearts wrote it, and our hearts had it because God designed us for those very roles. The man must break through, or he is a coward, a beaten man. The woman must be rescued in order to know she is worth fighting for. Though the story is familiar to us, it has come alive to me as I learn to love Brenda, in such a way as to show her that she is worth the world to me, and also in such a way as to prove that I can get the victory by His grace. Every man needs an adventure to live, a battle to fight, and a beauty to rescue. I am happy to have come as far as I have!

REVELATIONSHIP, 14
There were several things I was attempting to do with this poem. I had written my last four or five poems in iambic pentameter, and though they were successful, I wanted to get away from it before I got in a rut. So the first plan for this poem was for it to be hexameter, which it is. The second thing that inspired me actually came as a typo in an email. I was typing the word "revelation", but it came out "revelationship" because I had typed the word "relationship" so many times already that day. I liked the sound of that word, so I let it do the work. I decided to make an acrostic poem, not the first time I've done so, but the first time I've saved one (I've mainly just used them for cards and such). But I wanted it to be more than just the word "revelationship", since I had a feeling that the poem itself would seem convoluted at best in those parameters (hexameter and acrostic). So I embedded another message before I actually wrote the poem: I made the acrostic into a sentence first, by making single words first (the first word of each line). The sentence reads this way: "Redeeming Every Volatile End, Like Atonement, Transforming Individual Ownership, Never Shifting, Helping Intimacy Prevail." The poem itself reads like a commentary against wealth and greed, which of course it is, but why? The answer is found in that sentence - intimacy with Christ redeems our volatile end, covers a multitude of sins, and transforms our selfish hearts to look more like His own: giving, forgiving, and selfless. It was a revelation about the only truly worthwhile relationship: intimacy that prevails. Oh, and it's only a sonnet because the word "revelationship" happened to have 14 letters. It doesn't actually follow traditional sonnet rules. But I like hexameter...it's kind of like 6/4 time signature.

A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT, 40
I debated the name of this poem, lest it make people think of the movie which has nothing to do with this poem. But it's truly the entire point of the poem - when a river runs through a desert, it's not really a desert! This comes from one of Pastor Bruce Harpel's sermons a few years ago, coming from the story of Jesus and the woman at the well. Jesus offers her "living water", which will cause her "never to thirst again". In the original language, "living water" means "flowing water; water constantly being renewed from its source". That is, living water is the exact opposite of stagnant water (such as the Dead Sea in Israel). A river is a type of living water, and Jesus is a River of Life. We have access to Living Water straight from the source of Life, and it is constantly being renewed. Obviously, I feel like I'm in a desert sometimes, whether it's spiritual or literal (or both). Though we all have things we need to get through, and although we feel we can't go on, Christ renews us and shows us that "A desert where fresh water flows / Is one you can get through."

ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE, 20
I wrote this (you guessed it) on the side of the road, waiting for a tow truck - for two hours. Big surprise, of course. Anyway, it was the first day of school in the fall of 1999, and my car's timing belt went out on the 35W entrance ramp. I sat there waiting for a long time, and I had a lot to think about. I had had plenty of things going on in my life concerning different relationships and such, and that's what those verses are about. I see my own inadequacy, like I had finally broken down on the side of the road. The reference to "towing my life behind" is pretty literal, because I practically lived in my car, and there it was being towed behind us. The reference to the map blowing out the window actually did happen to me once, on the way to Whitewater State Park. I was able to make it there because I had been there so much before, but I felt as though I'd let that happen in my own life. But if I let the Lord drive instead of trying to find my own way, there's no problem - he drew the map in the first place, and He knows where He wants to take me. It's a surrender to His will, and the success that comes when we give up our own control. I referenced this poem in detail in my journal during our ski trip, January 14, 2002. I won't post all that here, but this poem has meant a lot more to me since then. And by surrender, I have victory.

ROCK SONG, 40
I was pondering the wonders of creation (always a good beginning for a poem or song) and thought about what it would look like to see the "very rocks cry out in praise" to God. But then I realized that we will only see that here on earth if every person in the earth neglects to praise the Lord. May that never be! Not because a rock cannot cry out, because I wouldn't doubt that it can if necessary; but because we must never tire in praising Him who is Worthy. I also thought this was a cool way to show how worthy He truly is - so worthy that everything He has made appreciates him. I even hinted at the fact that rocks are smarter than us in many ways, because they are constant and we are fickle, and because they are willing to praise when we aren't. Get with it! Give Him glory! Are you dumber and more stubborn than the rocks themselves?

RUIN ME, 15
This was more of a prayer that I had to write out than a poem. I think it may have even been the first poem I ever wrote that didn't rhyme. I believe that I wrote it after a good long talk with Barbi (one of my best friends), in which I realized some things that the Lord was doing in me that required me to change. I don't remember the exact circumstances that it was inspired from, but I do know that it was extremely clear to me why the Lord had me write it. In October of 2001, the Lord showed me something about myself that I had long fought, the very reason that my relationships kept ending up the way they did. I realized that the Lord was showing me that I needed to change something that I thought was a deep part of myself (and it was), because it was not something that He had put there, but that I had. It was extremely difficult to accept, as I would have to change every fiber of my being. It was then, when I was questioning God on this, that He showed me what I had already written. Be careful what you ask for, because if it's God's will, you will get it! I was ruined, but I am rebuilt into something new!

SAD ROUND KING, 52
This was originally inspired, believe it or not, by three pieces of magnetic poetry that remain on my file cabinet. The rest are put away, but these three were stuck, in order: "Sad Round King" This inspired the idea of the feast that the Lord holds for us, contrasting it with the "feasts" that we gorge ourselves with. No one who is self-serving is truly happy, even if they think they rule their own life. Thus, any king that is not the King of Kings will be both sad and round.

SANDTRAP OASIS, 20
While sitting around in the desert (a very common activity this year), someone told me to "write a hit song in 10 minutes or less!" Well, I doubt if it will ever be a hit, but from the prompts of the title ("call it Sandtrap Oasis"), and the first line (I fell in love with a Hodgie girl...), I wrote all 20 lines in 6 minutes. Not too shabby. Oh, "Hodgie" is the nickname we used for the locals, whether Arabs, Kuwaitis, or Iraqis...like "gooks" in 'Nam, "skinnies" in Somalia, "Krauts" in Germany, etc., only not necessarily derogatory.

SCARECROW IN A CUCUMBER FIELD, 20
I wrote this in June of 2000, while I was at the Holy Spirit conference on the U of MN campus. I had opened my Bible to Jeremiah 10, and the verse that jumped out was the verse about a scarecrow in a cucumber field. That phrase alone was too good to pass up, so I studied the passage (vv. 3-5, 8), and this became the first poem I had written straight from scripture. I like it because of that, but also because it truly mocks the idol worshippers - but most people don't realize that they are still alive and thriving in today's culture. People worship posessions and wealth more than anything else, though it can do nothing for them or their salvation. It will leave them high and dry, and their wealth will mean nothing in the end.

SEE YOU THERE, 18
I wrote this poem shortly after I said goodbye to Bethany, January 25, 2001. I had forgotten about it, I truly had, and I found it over a year and a half later, in August of 2002. I remembered writing it, and wondered why it had never made it into my files. I guess I never typed it up. I don't remember if I ever sent it to her, but I think I did. It states very finally what happened between us, and hopefully portrays how hard it was indeed to give her up, and trust that the Lord was leading us to something better. I have found that something better, and so has she. We are on good terms again, and we will indeed see eachother there.

SET ME FREE, 66
This was written in December of 2000, at the very darkest time of my life. It was after the final fateful letter from Bethany that totally and completely shattered my heart, my hopes, and even my will to live. It is the only time in my life I have contemplated suicide, though I did not attempt anything The darkness of that day/night was absolutely immense. I was shaking so hard when I wrote back (the letter was titled "I hate myself"), I couldn't even type. I stopped writing the letter until I wrote this poem, but even then I couldn't type well enough to complete it, until I typed the line "I need you, Jesus Christ, my Lord!" Then my hands stopped shaking, and I suddenly felt a peace that I did not have before. My churning stomach subsided enough for me to type, and I completed the poem, as well as the 4-page letter that is by far the most depressing writing of my life. I think the mood of this poem reflects that. The words flowed from within me, I didn't have to stop to think about a single line. Let's just say I'm glad that I have been saved from that darkness, and I'm glad I have happier poetry to contrast this extremely dark poem. I am free, and thank the Lord for it.

SKIING UPHILL, 20
I got the inspiration for this poem the day Bethany left from her visit here to MN, in January 2000. After dropping her off at the airport for the teariest goodbye I had ever had, I went to a scheduled skiing event with the Marine recruits I was a part of. It was the most melancholy skiing trip I've had, and I didn't really want to be there. It was just something to get my mind off her leaving, not knowing when I'd see her again. When I got home, I was exhausted physically and especially emotionally. I collapsed on the couch and fell asleep with tears in my eyes. Just before I woke, I was dreaming of skiing, since I had been all day, but I realized that it would be better to ski uphill, because downhill skiing always put you at the worst possible spot. If you could ski uphill, you would end up at the top, with a great view, on top of the world. This thought intrigued me, and I decided to write it down. It didn't come out poetically as well as I had hoped, but it gets across the idea and reasons behind it. Only by the Holy Spirit can we defy the law of emotional gravity!

SONG FOR YOU, 34
I realized, as I looked at the majority of my poetry, especially :Book 2: The Christian Walk", that most of my poetry when speaking to God is about me, about how I've failed and how I fall short. While it's good to realize that I am fallen, it is even better to realize that my life is not about me, but about Him! It is not about how weak I am, but how strong He is! His power is shown perfect in my weakness. It's not about how hard I try, how well I do, how badly I do, how stupid I am - it's about how much He is worthy, how much He helps me, how much He loves me, and how much grace He gives me to live righteous. So, even though it starts the same, I wanted the focus to shift to being a "song for You", instead of another one about me.

SPEECHLESS, 38
This was the first worship song I ever wrote, and it still gets in my head. I don't know really what to say about it, except that I found it ironic at the time (late 2000) that it was one of the longest poems I had written (next to The Trial at the time), yet it was about how I had no words to describe my Lord! Apparently I had a few to attempt it. I hope to get the song finished and recorded once I get back, so that it can get in your head too. I want every word of this to be true of me every day - my tongue cannot speak unless it praises You! My eyes can only see all that You've made new! Amen and amen.

THE THIRTEENTH HOUR, 700 wds.
I have this listed under the writers forum, under a pen name, but I still consider it one of my own creations. Its a prose poem, or poetical writing, where I talk about the experience of having your loved one far away. Brenda was in Uzbekistan, and I was here, and that fact was an interesting one for my emotions. The piece talks a lot about the fight between the right brain (emotions, creativity, randomness, arts) and the left brain (logic, science, reason, etc.), since this is what it seemed was happening as my heart would start missing Brenda. I would repress my emotions, sometimes rather harshly, as a coping mechanism for how much I missed her. I would tell myself that I could handle it, that it wasnt a big deal, that it was just a fact of my life at that moment. Truth was, I really wanted to cry and miss her, and have special moments with her over the phone (but we couldnt get through to each other), but it was very difficult. This poem brings me from a place of right-left conflict, where artistry is suppressed by science, emotions by reason, to a place where both can coexist, and I can see beauty in a sunset in spite of my coping mechanism. The 13th hour refers to the time shortly past equinox, where there are 13 hours of light and 11 of darkness, because it is then that both Brenda and I can look towards the sun at the same time, one seeing a sunset, the other a sunrise. It is a scientific way to look at a romantic thing, and becomes the reconciliation of my survival reasoning and my emotional romanticism. Sounds complicated, I know, but hey, its who I am.

TO KNOW HIM, 19
This is a song that I wrote at a conference in DeKalb, IL in March of 2002. It was not long after a teaching that one of my pastors gave called "Don't try harder, enjoy more!" It was about the true goal of a Christian should not be to try harder to live holy and try harder to love God, deny yourself, and hate sin, but rather simply to enjoy Jesus, get to know Him in that intimate way, and the rest will follow. It was one of the first poems/songs that I wrote directly from scripture, too. It is one of several songs I have written this year that I actually like the words and the music to. I'll make sure to share it once it's recorded! The knowledge of God is the only thing that can transform our hearts, and that's what I try to get across through this song.

THE TRIAL, 160
Arguably my best poem. I say arguably because as a much more experienced poet now than I was when I wrote it, I can see all sorts of places I might have said things better or structured things differently - plus I like several others of my poems just as much as this one. But as with any artist, the level of his skill can only be recognized by the people who look from the outside - and this poem has been sent around the world, requested by many friends and friends of friends, and I have been told to get it published more times than I could count. It truly has impacted people in exactly the way I wanted it to, and I appreciate that a great deal. It's also the longest poem I have written, and the best story I have put into a poem. I wanted to show the sacrifice that Jesus made for us in terms that our culture could understand - with our fascination in criminal justice (OJ, Clinton, etc), the courtroom looked like the place to settle this one. Satan (referred to as "Blaspheming One", for He is a fraud, even if He looks good in a court of law) as the merciless prosecutor, barraging me with the truth about who and what I, the defendant am. Jesus as the defense lawyer, who gives no defense, but, free of charge, offers to take the charges on Himself if I can be freed. The law provides for the substitute, and His death frees me. But you just can't keep a Perfect Man down! Though my personal opinion is that it reads like a Dr. Seuss book, the fact that it has annointing and has impacted people's lives undeniably give it merit beyond what is due me and my skills.

A TRUE HERO, 56
Long before I started this poem (written sometime in the spring of 2003 in Kuwait or Iraq), I knew I wanted to write something about heroes, about what makes someone a hero. More importantly, I wanted to write how those attributes all came together in Christ. When I read "Wild At Heart", I think I finally figured out how to do it. The book uses so many examples from popular culture and history that it really made my job easy. All four of these examples were used in the book, though I may have come to them myself as well. The first is Maximus from Gladiator, a man that never lost because he had one purpose - to right the wrongs imposed by evil men. The second comes from a true story of a young RAF pilot that gave his life in World War 2, who is quoted to have said "the measure of one's life can only be found in the degree of his sacrifice." The third is William Wallace, a historical hero who became a legend even before he was enshrined in the movie Braveheart. I emphasized his simple, peaceful beginnings before he began leading his people in battle. All three of these example characters engaged in fights which ultimately took their lives, but they heroically gave them away willingly. The final verse is obviously about Christ, but the first few lines also came from the theme of the book. Christ is too often pictured as the paragon for the "nice guy" image, but never viewed as a fierce, fighting hero. One day we will see Him like that in all His terrible glory. I wanted to show everyone that every attribute I describe in the preceding characters, which we as a culture can recognize as heroic and honorable, truly embody what Christ truly is. He is my hero, and no other comes close.

UNKNOWING BRIDE, 20
This was inspired by what the Lord was doing in my life for a whole year - showing me how to love the woman He has for me, without her knowing - but it is not directly written about the woman He was leading me to at the time. Rather, it is specifically written about Christ and His bride (the church). It was difficult to watch this woman without her knowing me as that person, and sometimes things she would say would hurt more because she didn't know, and I did. As in many cases, God has shown me parallels in this relationship to how Christ loves His bride, because that's how I am commanded to love my wife. In this case, I saw how much pain we can cause Christ when we refuse or ignore Him. He has so much love and passion for us, we need to recognize Him for who He is - our lover and best friend. It is exciting to me to see the parallels of Christ and His bride to my own life and what He's teaching me about my bride. It is encouraging, because it means I'm letting Him do it in me, and not doing it on my own.

VICTORY, 16
The first poem of my 8-month deployment in Kuwait & Iraq, this poem embodies some of the things I was feeling and learning at the time, and that is that in the fights we fight every day, watching and waiting is not enough. Action, effort, and diligence must accompany your intent. "No victory was ever won by watching from the sides." That's the plain simple truth.

WALK BETWEEN, 28
This poem is specifically about Brenda and I, shortly after we'd met and become friends. She and I met and hit it off about 3 1/2 weeks before this was written, and we spent hours talking every single day. We realized after a short while that we were really going too fast, because we were putting a priority on eachother instead of God. We had given up relationships until the Lord gave us the green light, and so we had to quickly put on the brakes when he gave us the yellow light in our relationship. So this is a prayer, a cry for God to walk between us so that our focus will be on Him, and not eachother. It also explains why it was so easy to get so close so soon, because both our hearts would take rabbit trails to find intimacy in all the wrong places. So this shows that, and shows the way to have a pure and holy relationship that is focused only on the Lord.

THE WAY IT’S GOING TO BE, 28
Three stories about hopes... the first was not only inspired by my own life, it was my own life. The second stanza has happened more than once, one of which was very very recent. The first verse refers to the first time it happened, with Bethany. The second verse is unfortunately a familiar story to any immigrant coming to the USA expecting great opportunity, and finding great hardship. Picture yourself on Ellis Island, then read this verse. The third verse tells the only story that we can truly hope in! I like the structure of this poem, the repetition, and the stories. Everyone likes stories, and I wish I could write them more often. The other interesting thing about this poem is that it is one of several poems that I wrote while Billy Joel's "Piano Man" was in my head - and if you read through this, you could sing these words to that tune. Please try not to - I'm trying to write original music to it. Of course, that catchy tune is a mental block for now. So for now, it has no music. I swear.

WEDDING PANTOUM, 24
Though I didn't think highly of it at the time I finished it, it seems to get better every time I read it. I purposely used a pantoum for this, not just for a challenge (which it was indeed), but because I wanted to say everything in it twice. Every line is said at least twice, giving it an emphasis as well as dwelling on the moment of when Brenda comes down the aisle. Though it will be her father that physically gives her away on that day, I saw it through spiritual eyes - it is the Father Himself giving her to me! There is something that will fill that room on that day far greater than our smiles!

WHAT A MESS, 24
This was the first poem I wrote when things when down with Bethany. I still believed that she was the one, I just thought it was the right thing at the wrong time. But either way, I had learned one thing about breaking promises and going down roads that I hadn't been led to. This poem explains very clearly what we had, what we went through, and where we ended up. The poem is pretty easy to understand, if you know the situation at all. If you don't, you should by now. If you still want to know, you can write me and ask me.

WHAT THE FLAG MEANS TO ME, 20
I wrote this poem in April 2003, in Baghdad. One of my buddies got a letter from his niece, saying that her 6th grade teacher asked everyone to write an essay on what the flag meant to them. So she asked all of us to write her back and tell her our unique perspective on what the flag means to us. So naturally, mine came out in verse. Many people have loved this poem so far, and I'm glad. I love it too.

WHY I’LL NEVER BE A COWBOY, 25
Ahhhh, humor! I had wanted to write this type of a poem for a long time. For those of you who don't know, I truly despise country music in all its forms. In fact, I consider country music an oxymoron. I may fight and give my life for my country, but I will fight country for my whole life! Anyway, enough of my rantings here...I decided to take them into verse...and yes, song! I like the basic description of this one: "A country song about the cowboy life; caution - irony." The silliness of this poem truly show my views of country music without being mean, all while people laugh as I sing it as a country song! Yes, I can ruin my voice and sing country, too. As with yodeling, singing country is just pretending you're still 15 and insecure. And really depressed about everything, like not having enough beer, not having a big enough truck, and not having a fat enough woman. Okay, that's enough, I'm getting cynical again...

I WONDER WHETHER, 28
This was written after I had a bit of a fight with a woman I believed God had been leading me to. It was so frustrating because words that she said that would not have hurt a normal brother sincerely hurt me because of what was already in my heart. I knew that it was from the Lord, but I had to express how difficult a task it was to keep this hidden and still trust that it was the Lord. The first verse addresses my wondering as to whether she would trust me once I told her what the Lord had placed on my heart. It was one of my biggest fears, but the Lord held my hand as He led me through it. The second verse is just an agreement to love her with agape, the "as you wish" from Princess Bride. I know that I don't deserve the woman God will eventually give me, and I cannot cling to something I haven't been given. I can only serve her, not demand her. The last verse/chorus is where I entrust the entire thing into the Lord's hands - I know that she hears the Lord as clearly as I do, and I just needed to trust that she will hear the Lord.

YOU AND ME, 24
This is a poem that I like because it really opens up what a truly intimate relationship is. There is an element to lovers' relationships that makes them want to tell the world - as well they should want to - but there is another element that many people, especially those in the church, miss. That is the element that not everything is meant for everyone to know about. You shouldn't "kiss and tell", they say, because that sign of affection is more precious when done alone and kept between the two lovers. And of course, any time I explore an earthly intimate relationship, I see why they exist - to show us what our relationship with our Lover should be. The Christian life can be summed up into two categories: Witness and Worship. Anything and everything we do affects either our witness or our worship. There is an element to intimacy with Christ that makes us want to tell everyone we meet! That's witness - testifying to what you have seen and heard, and gushing on and on about your Beloved. But this poem focuses on a different element, on which our intimacy with Christ is truly based. This is the element that is for only Him and me, and is more special if it is not shared with anyone else. This is worship - my spirit communing with the Holy Spirit in an amazing union that is absolutely astounding! This poem also addresses why these things are better off not shared with others - people get super-spiritual, they get pompous and gawdy, they get prideful and fake. They may think/say they love God more than anything, but take away the empire of "evangelism" that they have created, and they will be left with no level of intimacy with Christ. Their love was but as true as the words they sang. Know Him and worship Him in your heart, and the witness will follow in its place.


Poems

Home