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1. “Do Spare Me the Belly Areas” |
(These are really bad poems) |
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Do spare me the belly areas A gram causes the bean suey To end the knowing of chili ran A dry aloof suey at all. Hey, rate a ton of meat! (Dears, quit when lost) May I advise hot! |
These are really bad poems Because they use anagrams And while forcing one to think Lead all of you astray. They are not of a team And quite worthless I say avoid them! |
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2. “It Was To Free You, Maple Comet” |
(A complete waste of your time) |
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It was to free you, maple comet Pa, hurl two voting nozzles ‘We buy mops, lye, sealing, ale’ Or so mocks edgy ruin Why sing tin? No, sever the piles It is I, hill’s knee! |
A complete waste of your time A puzzle not worth solving You may as well be sleeping Or mending your socks When everything is pointless Like this line is. |
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3. “Call A Thorn-Hiding Jar” |
(Jonathan Richard Gill) |
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Call a thorn-hiding jar May the sums fill in Fate, buying Mountain Dew He’d often try a coin haunt I.e., bold effort over you Gains anti-aid ally Every spies taped shut more. (Try steam) |
Jonathan Richard Gill This is my full name But if you wanted meaning You cannot find that here For I’ve told you before And I’ll say it again These are very stupid poems (Yet smart). |
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4. “O, The Shame To Touch Praise” |
(He has too much time to spare) |
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O, the shame to touch praise! Pride rocks rudest elation Toil snares a fake, pushing is mild I endured the favoring sin To a kingdom’s robe, a graham frame I pour munitions, muscle bands flow To my "air eye", today I know a truer oath. |
He has too much time to spare Seconds drip like a torture And hours like lifetimes passing And I never figured on this Making anagrams from the boredom Into impossible, awful conundrums In order to take away your "thyme". |
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5. “Hotwires on Time's Foot” |
(I wrote most of this one) |
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Hotwires on time's foot And if toes fail, ye need chub We talk to hook, mud tile cries Lay red tint, don’t wail I buried it, odd tee chews We swat his ten nice hens: The eggs all bash on the pie Jumbling vext frowzy hacks PDQ. |
I wrote most of this one Only because I needed a fifth So I could make the title work I really didn’t want to But I decided otherwise When I saw this sentence: The English alphabet goes Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz. |